


There's A Madrox In My Kitchen

by Mortalfinlay



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28852167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortalfinlay/pseuds/Mortalfinlay
Summary: All Kitty wanted was a glass of water. Now there are five versions of Jamie Madrox standing in her kitchen. And it's 3am. - This is just a really silly little story that I came up with in the shower. I hope it's as fun to read as it was to write!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: X-Plain the X-Men X-change Winter 2020-21





	There's A Madrox In My Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArcherSceptile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcherSceptile/gifts).



When Kitty Pryde walked into the kitchen of the X-Mansion at 3am to get herself a glass of water, she found Jamie Madrox getting one first. She also found Jamie Madrox buttering a piece of toast, Jamie Madrox pouring himself a cup of coffee, and Jamie Madrox opening a beer. He was even slicing up a banana to put on a bowl of cereal. In fact there were five Jamie Madroxs standing in the kitchen. Upon seeing Kitty, the Madrox at the sink froze and flushed a deep scarlet.  
“Oh. Hello.” He muttered, avoiding her gaze as the four other Jamies turned to stare at her.  
Kitty’s mouth hung upon as she took in the sight, blinking twice just to verify that she was not in fact dreaming the influx of clones in front of her. Shaking off the shock, she sighed,  
“What are you doing here, Jamie?”  
Instantly all five dupes began to speak at once. Kitty put her hand in the air and they fell silent just as quickly as they had begun speaking. “Which of you is Jamie Prime?” She pinched the bridge of her, exhausted. The idea of getting that glass of water and settling back into bed was looking more and more like a pipe dream.  
The Jamie that had been slicing the banana raised the knife he was holding in answer.  
“Well?” Kitty crossed her arms, glowering at him, “Care to explain why you’re in my kitchen at 3am?”  
Jamie Prime pointed the knife at Kitty playfully, “First of all, it’s not your kitchen. It’s communal.”  
“For people who live here!” Kitty interjected, trying to keep her voice down despite her rising irritation.  
“I got asked to live here.”  
“Yeah, once! Ages ago! And you said no! You can’t just decide actually yes, especially not at three in the morning!”  
Jamie frowned, “I didn’t. I was just, you know, in the area, and I was hungry.”  
Kitty massaged her temples, beginning to hum slightly. Her head hurt. She’d woken up, thinking nothing out of the ordinary and all she’d wanted was a simple glass of water. Now she was having a logic argument with a man who practically invented the phrase “jumping through hoops.”  
“Well, you’ve had your food, so please. Just go home.” She finally sighed, gesturing to the door.  
“Woah woah woah. One last request before I go.” Jamie Prime stood up, putting his hand out in a prayer position. He fluttered his eyelashes. Four other Jamies fluttered their eyelashes, “Pretty please?”  
“What is it, Jamie?”  
“Well-”

Scott Summers awoke with a start. He had the strangest feeling that something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He sighed, putting on his ruby quartz glasses, and sitting up in bed. The clock next to his bed shone neon. 3:47. Jean stirred next to him but did not open her eyes. Scott scratched his chin. Had he missed something in the Danger Room simulation the day prior? Had he failed to properly plan for tomorrow’s excursion? Nothing came to mind. Surely there was something. Surely he had to have missed something, otherwise what was wrong?  
Swinging his legs out of bed, he put on a pair of blue bunny slippers. He was going to make some warm milk. That always helped him think. As he left the room and descended the stairs down towards the Mansion Kitchen, exactly what was wrong became apparent to him.  
From the archway into the kitchen, he could see multiple figures, silhouetted in the darkness. Their silhouettes were not any he recognised from living in the mansion. Intruders.  
Crouching, he placed one hand on the side of his glasses and continued his approach. However as he drew closer to the kitchen archway and the silhouettes, shaded red by his ruby sunglasses, became clearer, he found his apprehension replaced by confusion.  
Stepping through the archway, he looked, confused, at the scene before him.  
Kitty Pryde and five Jamie Madroxes were crowded around the oven, all trying to stare into it.  
“Kitty.” Scott said, clearing his throat and breaking the silence.  
The six figures whirled round to look at him, and all went beet red.  
“Why is Jamie Madrox in my kitchen at nearly four in the morning?”  
Kitty looked at the floor, avoiding Scott’s disappointed look, the only gaze more terrible than that of his concussive eyebeams.  
“Well,” She started, “You see, it’s technically a communal kitchen.”  
Scott’s face split into one of incredulity.  
Five Jamie Madroxes nodded at him, as if backing up Kitty’s statement.  
“We’re making cookies.” One said.  
Kitty winced, readying herself for the lecture that she knew was coming. Don’t let people in the house. Alert a senior staff member. Don’t associate with Jamie Madrox. She was sure all of these talking points and more would come up and frankly she was too tired for it.  
Scott opened his mouth.  
And then he stopped and he sniffed.  
“Oh.” He mumbled.  
The cookies did smell good.

It was 4am when Logan walked into the kitchen of the X-Mansion. He was tired and he wanted a beer. He walked through the archway, opened the fridge and grabbed one. He frowned. There was a beer missing. His head turned and his eyes widened very slightly as he stared at Kitty Pryde, Scott Summers and five Jamie Madroxes gathered round a plate, piled high with cookies. One of the Jamies was gripping an empty beer bottle and trembling. Logan stalked forward, saying nothing. He stopped in front of the gathered crowd, his eyes fixed on the dupe holding his beer. And then he reached forward and swiped one of the cookies from the plate. Turning suddenly on his heels, he left the kitchen. He heard Jamie’s voice behind him as he left,  
“Aren’t you going to ask what I’m doing here at this time?”  
Logan bit into the cookie. It was soft but crunchy at the same time. Just the way he liked it.  
Chewing, he called back,  
“Nope.”


End file.
